So your child made an AAU basketball team—congrats, Basketball Mom! If you’re feeling a mix of pride, excitement, and “what did we just sign up for?”—you’re not alone. AAU Basketball can be an incredible experience for your young athlete, but for moms new to the game, it often brings a flood of questions and concerns. As a veteran AAU mom who’s been through the highs, lows, and hotel breakfast buffets, here are some of the top concerns I had (and hear from other moms)—plus what I’ve learned along the way.
1. “How much is this going to cost?”
Let’s be real: AAU isn’t cheap. Between team fees, uniforms, travel, hotels, meals, and tournament entry costs, the expenses can add up quickly. Many moms worry about budgeting—especially if there are siblings involved or if you’re traveling across states.
Check out my blog post where I breakdown the real cost of AAU basketball.
Pro tip: Ask early for a breakdown of expected costs, and find out if there are fundraising opportunities or team sponsors.
2. “Will my child get enough playing time?”
This is a big one—and the answer isn’t always clear. Unlike school ball, playing time in AAU isn’t guaranteed. Some coaches prioritize development, others are focused on winning or showcasing a few key players. And then there is DAD BALL (stay tuned for that conversation but to preview, this is a situation where the coach has his child on the team).
From our experience: One of the things we’ve always encouraged our kids to do is talk to their coach directly if they’re wondering about playing time. We’ve coached them to ask questions like, “What can I do to get more playing time?” or “What areas do I need to improve?” That kind of initiative shows the coach they’re serious about getting better—and it helps build communication skills and accountability.
3. “Are we on the right team or program?”
There are a lot of teams out there, and it’s not always easy to tell if you’re in the right place.
In our journey: We’ve had to change teams a few times—and it’s never been an easy decision. Sometimes it meant leaving friends behind or stepping into the unknown with a new coach and system. Every team will come with some challenges, so we always ask: Are these things we can live with and manage? Or are they true deal-breakers, like a toxic coach or unhealthy team culture? You have to weigh the discomfort of change against the cost of staying in a situation that isn’t helping your child grow.
4. “How do I handle all this travel and scheduling?”
Weekend tournaments, sometimes multiple per month, mean a lot of hotel nights, early mornings, and long drives. It can be overwhelming for working moms or families with multiple kids.
But here’s something important to consider:
Make sure the travel schedule matches the age and skill level of your child. For younger kids—especially elementary-aged players—extensive travel is often unnecessary and can even be counterproductive. We’ve learned that sticking to local tournaments early on gives kids the chance to build confidence, learn the game, and have fun without the stress (and cost) of traveling across states.
In our experience: The best early experiences that support long-term development happen close to home, where kids can focus on playing—not performing. If a team is pushing for intense travel too soon, that may be a red flag.
What helps: Once you do get into travel, connect with other parents to carpool, share hotel rooms, and rotate who travels when possible. Group chats and shared calendars can truly save your sanity.
5. “Is this too much pressure for my kid?”
AAU can be intense. Some kids thrive, while others get overwhelmed.
Mom-to-mom: Regular check-ins with your kid are so important. Sometimes they just need to vent or take a break. Make sure they know their worth isn’t tied to their stats—and that their well-being always comes before basketball.
6. “How can I support my child without becoming ‘that mom’?”
We all want our kids to succeed—but it’s easy to get caught up in sideline drama, coach complaints, or playing-time politics.
My golden rule: Be your child’s biggest fan off the court. Let the coach do the coaching. And, please be nice to the Refs. They are people too.
7. “What’s the end goal here?”
For some families, it’s exposure for college scholarships. For others, it’s skill development, confidence, and friendship. Knowing your “why” helps guide decisions and keep things in perspective.
Ask yourself: What does success look like for our family? Not every player is destined for Division 1 College or the NBA—and that’s okay.
Closing Thoughts:
Being a new AAU mom is like stepping into a whole new world. It’s fast, competitive, and sometimes exhausting—but it can also be empowering and unforgettable. You’re building memories, character, and resilience right alongside your child. Trust your gut, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to make a change if it’s what’s best for your kid. We’re all learning—and cheering—together.
Basketball Mom Life 
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